When I think of the word romance images of roses, wine, and carriage rides through a park are immediately swimming through my mind’s eye. Romance is special and something that, at least extensionally, I think of as a rare treat.
As with so many things it took an outsider’s observations to change my mind of this notion. A friend recently came to stay with my husband and I for a few nights while attending a conference in San Diego. It was this friend that opened my mind to the reality of living a romantic life everyday.
If you have read other articles (10 European Habits You Should Adopt or Why I Eat At The Table) you know that mealtime is ritualized for me. I put on music (usually Louis Armstrong station), light candles, have a set table with placemats and napkins, and of course wine. When company is over I spend even more time setting the mood. So my friend’s arrival came with a wonderful meal at the table with all of the lagniappes. After dinner as I sat by the fire in my silk nightgown sipping wine and eating dark chocolate while catching up with my friend she very correctly pointed out the romance of the evening. It occurred to me that I had never thought of romance as something I could create for myself. That romance was something I could cultivate as a way of existing.
I spent the next few days curating my list of habits that help dial up my dose of daily romance.
1. Quality Pajamas- I know most people want to just throw on shorts and a t-shirt and head to bed. If you are going to sleep in a bed with your lover (or by yourself ;) try investing in a nice pair of romantic night wear. Yes get dressed up to go to bed. You might be surprised on how this changes the energy of your bed…and maybe even your dreams.
2. Wake up slowly and have a morning- I know I hear all of the moms yelling at me about time. So if this isn’t in the cards for you I get it. But try at least once a week to get up early, make a wonderful pot of French Press coffee (or tea) and sit in your lovely silk pajamas, put on a Claude Debussy or Nora Jones station and watch the light change your home as the sun rises and baths the room in light and warmth.
3. Take a walk and listen to the world - I know we all love our audiobooks and podcast, myself included. But take 10 minutes to listen to the trees, wind, leaves, and world around you.
4. Have piece of chocolate in the afternoon with a cup of coffee or tea for no reason at all other than you can. I am not talking about grabbing a foil wrapped candy bar at the grocery store (see my article about finding a good chocolaterie) but sitting down and eating a beautiful piece of chocolate with your eyes, nose and mouth :)
5. Cultivate a soundtrack for your life- I like classical in the morning with the sunrise, Jazz, soft rock, and French cafe music while I work, Billie Holiday while I cook, and Louis Armstrong while I eat. Find your favorites that add a flavor of romance to your daily activities.
6. Let the conversation be the entertainment- one of the simplest pleasures in life is sitting with a friend, lover, or yourself and having that be the entertainment. I know there is a million amazing shows on Netflix but press pause. Light a candle. Put on some Jazz. Pour a glass of wine. Talk to each other. Or have a conversation with yourself (or a good book)
7. Invest in a beautiful robe- whether silk, cashmere, velvet or jersey invest in a good robe. Wear it around the house with ballet flats like the beautiful Hollywood actresses of the 1940s. You will have it for years and feel put together even when you have nothing on underneath.
8. Candle light is romantic light- candles are the cheapest and most effective way to set the mode. Put candle sticks on your table and USE THEM. Have beautiful or seasonal candles on coffee tables and around the home. If they are out you are more likely to use them. The soft flickering light is flattering and calming.
9. Home Spa- take a bubble bath in the candle light with your favorite station. Scrub, shave, and wash slowly taking self care as a seriously part of your daily life. Dry off slowly and rub a soothing lotion, scent or unscented, over your body to seal the moisture and nourish your body and soul. Enjoy the process of taking care of your body. When you feel taken care of you are better equip to take care of others. Why not make it romantic for you and your body?
10. Meal Times- sharing meals is one of the most romantic things we can do with friends, family, or lovers. Invest in a good picnic basket for romantic outings. This way with just a little cheese, bread and wine you can have a romantic outing planned and prepared in less than 5 minutes. Invest in beautiful table settings. When your table is beautiful you will want to sit and stay a while and others will too. Set your house up for music with bluetooth speakers or the like. It is the soundtrack to your life remember. Make it yours.
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